Browsed by
Category: Spirituality

Falling Aimlessly

Falling Aimlessly

I just went outside to empty the ash bucket from the wood stove. It’s early evening and a light mist clings to the air as a storm approaches from the east. Without knowing why, I found myself transfixed for several minutes staring at nothing in particular. My eyes looked blankly at swaths of rust and honey covering the hills. The wind growled through the trees and golden leaves trickled down like snow. They didn’t come straight down, but lingered weightless…

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The Gift of Death

The Gift of Death

A wildlife rehabilitator’s goal is to care for an injured or orphaned animal until they can be released back into the wild.  And while this is very much my goal as a rehabber, one of the reasons why I chose to volunteer my time caring for animals, is also to work with the suffering and the dying.  I view this as extremely important, albeit difficult work, and it is very much a part of my inner journey. This morning I…

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Desert Connection

Desert Connection

The desert is sparkling with bouquets of wildflowers in shades of salmon and sunshine, striking violet, soft white, and rich velvety red.  Each day I notice a different kind of flower stretching toward the vast open sky, flourishing in the warmth of the sun with a flash of ephemeral beauty.  It’s miraculous to witness these blooms springing out of the dusty, dry soil. I’ve been in southern UT for the past week, camping in and near Capitol Reef National Park. …

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The thread of consciousness

The thread of consciousness

Watching birds in the ocean yesterday, I was struck by the connectedness of all things – the ocean, the sand, microbes, plankton, fish, people, all of it.  I became aware of the universal consciousness, the divine thread that binds us all together.  I watched the shore birds fluttering in the waves searching for fish and I thought, “Their life is my life, their suffering is my suffering, their pain is my pain, and their death is my death.”  We are…

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An earth-empath’s search for courage

An earth-empath’s search for courage

Last night while I was sleeping, I woke up very suddenly feeling exhausted and depleted.  I felt strangely filled with an innate sense of knowledge and I thought to myself, “This is how the earth must feel.” I was so surprised by the clarity of this sensation even though there was some part of my logic-seeking brain that thought, “Don’t be ridiculous.  The earth can’t FEEL anything.”  In actuality, I think that is just the part of my brain that…

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So long, February and welcome, March

So long, February and welcome, March

I have to admit that I’m not too sad to see February go.  But, I’m not overly excited either.  The truth is, I’ve noticed my relationship to winter changing over the last couple of years.  What changed exactly?  Well, for one thing, I pretty much lost interest in complaining about it.  What’s the point of that?  At the same time, I ran out of energy from trying to see the positive side of everything.   As Doris Day said, “Que sera…

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An unexpected invitation

An unexpected invitation

A few weeks ago, I was driving home from work and the image of a incredibly beautiful pool of water suddenly emerged in my mind.  I saw myself sitting in the green grass by the edge, peering into the calm, dark water.  I knew immediately that it was the pool of grief that I had come to be with.  Sitting by the edge, I looked deep within the very soul of suffering.  I looked deeper and deeper into the endless…

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A Universe of Pain

A Universe of Pain

This morning as I was making breakfast, I thought the words, “I am in a universe of pain.”  As someone who deals with chronic pain, I have previously thought, “I am in a world of pain” on days when it has been really bad.  But today was different.  For even though I was experiencing the most pain I’ve had in recent memory, I wasn’t using those words to mark or measure it.  Instead, there was an immense spaciousness around it,…

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Constant Companions

Constant Companions

I distinctly remember the first time I realized that I would die.  I was about 9 or 10 and I was lying in bed at night, when suddenly this realization poured over me.  I am going to die someday.  The room spun.  My heart pounded. Surely, this couldn’t be possible.  Yet, not only was it possible – it was absolutely going to happen! Sometimes I wonder if I think about death more than the average person.  It’s not that I…

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Visitors

Visitors

I had two flocks of turkeys pass through my yard today.  I stopped to watch them, and in those moments, there was nothing else happening in the world.  The sky rumbled, grey and pouty, as it began to spit like a child having a temper tantrum.  I stood at my window, watching the golden maple leaves sway carelessly to the ground, feeling aware of the comfort of my home. Memories of my lifetime of autumns passed in an instant, as…

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